Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Dick In a Box

Guest Post by Man of American Dissent

Dick Cheney is set to testify in the near future in the Scooter Libby trial. I heard a rumor that it could be today, but even if he’s not going to take the 5th, I mean stand today this is an historic event.

I wish there were cameras in this courtroom. I would love to see the face off between Dick Cheney and Patrick Fitzgerald. Will Cheney have the cojones to tell Fitzgerald that his questions are "out of line"? I'm envisioning the VP doing a Jack Nicholson in “A Few Good Men”. Unfortunately that just ain’t gonna happen. We’re much more likely to see a ”last throes” or smoking gun mushroom cloud style offering than we are a Harry Whittington hunting trip reprise.

Fortunately for the Vice President, he can say whatever he wants in court. He could say that Scooter had a wild hair up his ass and that made his lips get loose causing him to divulge classified information to every Tim, ‘Vak and Judy in town. I know he’ll swear to tell the truth and all that, but he also swore to uphold and defend the Constitution twice, and we can see how well that’s been going for the past six years. Besides, what’s the worst thing that can happen to the VP? Well, the worst thing would be a resignation in disgrace, followed by a pre-pardonment impeachment of George W. Bush and a “Sorry Dick you’ll need to serve out your sentence.” From President Pelosi.


Anonymous david said...


I'm looking forward to hearing those words: President Pelosi.

If this really is Watergate Redux, with Iraq as Vietnam, then Cheney is likely to come down with a bad case of amnesia.

"I can't recall anything being said that day. ...To the best of my recollection, I was a saint and butter never melt in my mouth..."

History repeats itself: the first time as tragedy, the second as farce. Dick Nixon at least knew what he was doing and what the stakes were. Dick Cheney is living in another dimension and his fool President has been to one too many multi-level marketing pep talks and believes He will succeed if he believes.

(Cue Jiminy Cricket's "If you wish upon a star")

7:11 AM  
Anonymous D. Hippert said...

Man of American Dissent, I envisioned the same thing and created this email:

Soon we'll see how much guts and brains "Go F**K Yourself"/Buckshot Cheney
displays under cross examination.

Perhaps it'll go something like this:

Cheney: You want answers?
Fitzgerald I think I'm entitled to them.
Cheney: You want answers?
Fitzgerald: I want the truth!
Cheney: You can't handle the truth! Son, we live in a world that has terrorists. And those terrorists have to be confronted by men with guns. Who's gonna do it? You? You, Hillary? I have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom. You weep over Gitmo and Abu Ghraib and you curse the Marines, the Army and Rummy. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know: that Gitmo and Abu Ghraib, while tragic, probably saved lives. And my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves lives...You don't want the truth. Because deep down, in places you don't talk about at parties, on blogs and in contemptuous emails, you want me on that wall. You need me on that wall.
We use words like WMD, Yellow Cake, Cut and Run ...we use these words as the backbone to a policy of deception and intimidation. You use 'em as a punchline. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very freedom I provide, then questions the manner in which I provide it! I'd rather you just said thank you and went on your way. Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a weapon, perhaps a shotgun, and stand a post. Either way, I don't give a damn what you think you're entitled to!
Fitzgerald: Did you order the Plame leak?
Cheney: (quietly) I did the job the US Supreme Court appointed me to do.
Fitzgerald: Did you order the leak?
Cheney: You're goddamn right I did!!
Cheney: [yelling] I'm gonna rip the eyes out of your head and piss in your dead skull! You f****d with the wrong VP!


9:28 AM  
Blogger Man of American Dissent said...

Dale, you've nailed the screenplay just as I'd envisioned it.

4:47 PM  

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