Friday, March 17, 2006

Channeling My Inner Rove

I have to give credit to Yellow Dog for the seed he planted in my fertile brain with his post, “Help Me Develop This”, in which he proposes that the DNC help finance a moderate-conservative candidate to split the Republican vote. While I like the sneaky nature of such a move, I don’t think it’s quite sinister enough so I’ve come up with an idea of my own.

How about we promote the real wingnuts instead. While there have been some interesting developments within the Evangelical community, reaching out to traditional liberals and making common cause on the environment and seeking legal and reasonable solutions to religion in public schools, it seems that many on the fringe right think that this administration hasn’t done enough to promote their religious/political agenda. I know, I had to re-read it a few times myself to make sure I wasn’t crazy, but many Evangelicals, including Tony Perkins of The Family Research Council, think the President has let them down by not pushing harder to ban same sex marriage. I say, if there is a crack developing within the Evangelical community, we should do all we can to help facilitate a further drift. Continue making common cause with reasonable Evangelicals that share our concerns and are interested in realistic solutions, but peel off the fringe right and channel their energy in a more futile direction. Here is my humble suggestion for how we go about it.

Track down the most right-wing, homophobic, anti-choice, bible thumping candidate in your district or state, start going to meetings, rallies, whatever and start planting the seed that if this candidate doesn’t get the Republican nomination, he/she should run as a third party candidate. Write up “draft (Wingnut’s name here)” petitions and get the base real excited about the idea. Then, us bloggers will back you up. How, you ask? By starting shadow blogs that cater to your new fanatic friends and provide them with an opportunity to give money, volunteer time and spread the news to all of their friends and neighbors with an easy click of the mouse. Sure, it will be hard to write the kind of vile, hateful and bigoted posts that will appeal to this group most, but I even have an answer for that.

If we write all of our posts as satire, we can sleep at night knowing that we are not advocating homophobia or promoting ideas we abhor, but rather exposing hypocrisy and providing useful social commentary to boot. And the best part is, the crazies will never know. Most of them likely can’t recognize satire at all and if they can, certainly not when it comes to their own extreme views. What we would consider satire, they would consider sound political ideas. I don’t know about you, but I’m thinking maybe we have winner here. I know it’s what Rove would do.

Editors note: If you are a right-wing nut and you are so angry right now that you can hardly see straight, before you send me an email, let me point out one small thing. This is satire and you just proved my point.


Blogger Yellow Dog said...

I don't even know where to begin. You are a wicked, wicked creature. Well, this ought to set the old site-meter to spinning.

I'm of the mind that a wingnut won't split the party enough (think about Buchanan's impact). I think we need someone Schwarzkopfian. A moderate conservative who wouldn't need to take a postion on the war because he was just serving his counry.I just don't think the base could resist a military hero. Of course I am talking about '08 here. Too late to organize something this grassroots for the midterms.

I don't believe anyting like this has ever been attempted at a grassroots level. I don't know if it could be done on the up and up. Once the Repubs caught wind of it, he gig would be up and it would galvanize the base. If there is one thing they excel at, it's organizing and hanging together.

3:10 PM  
Blogger Yellow Dog said...

Kind of "Life of David Gale", isn't it?

3:18 PM  
Blogger The (liberal)Girl Next Door said...

Yellow Dog--Yes I am and Yes it is.

4:27 PM  
Anonymous Dale Hippert said...

LGND~ Well, I'm glad you got THAT out of your system.
'Inner Rove' conjurs images of the Alien bursting from
the chest, a malignancy or a need for some Metamucil!

8:19 PM  
Blogger The (liberal)Girl Next Door said...

Dale--I took a shot of Irish Whiskey. Worked like a charm.

9:15 PM  
Blogger a rose is a rose said...

i have always thought of myself as a VERY strong independent woman (yeah i DO bleed if you cut me. ice water, but i still bleed) BUT this is something i am not brave enough to do. i am italian, passionate and emotional. i KNOW i couldn't last thirty seconds listening to some god hates fags, white is right, giant corporations should be able to do whatever they want type individuals

during the kerry-bush race fiasco, three people had to jump between me and this gatsu piedi when he said to me 'even a woman or a jew' could do a better job than kerry (it wasn't the kerry part i was angry over it was the racist male-centric idiocy)

2:56 AM  
Anonymous Roberta Kelly said...

This is really good. I love the dark side when it comes from one who stands in the light. The power is so much fun, thinking about how to make the “Christian” people feel the same as ALL people on the planet now feel who are being forced into the powerlessness of the insane world of fundamentalism.

LGND you prove my point. Imagination is power. Even putting it out is going to scare these people S~less, about how transparent they are. After all, it is only terrorizing others that they feel God wants, certainly not "do unto others."

I highly doubt the "crazies in the basement" (this is what Barry Goldwater and Ronald Reagan called them) actually read the Bible. I have a friend who moved to Georgia last year. He told me when he was waiting in line at a Starbucks for coffee, in downtown Atlanta, there was a man who was putting brown sugar into his coffee in mega doses. When my friend Jim said to him "wow, you certainly like sugar," the guy said back ~ "God doesn't allow the eating of white sugar and it says so in the Bible." My friend decided it was best to say nothing back to the man about how brown sugar IS white sugar saturated with molasses.

It proves my point. Most of these “crazies” do NOT read the Bible. My mother is Jewish and my father was Catholic until his mother was ex-communicated for divorcing his father and then he went for Lutheran. I studied the Bible and Comparative Religion, for two years while attending Pacific Lutheran University in the mid-1960s. Then, once I returned from traveling and living in Southeast Asia and Europe and re-entered the university to study art and elementary education during the early to mid-1970s, I actually learned about the Bible and religion, in Art History.

The politics of Constantine the Great legalized Christianity so wars could be continued in conquering, destroying and “Onward Christian Soldiers” politics marching forward into battle, waving the banner of Jesus as though it meant preying upon the meek and killing was/is ok.

Needless to say, I have lots of fun going onto Christian webblogs and posting.

Jesus was the first and last Christian just as Thomas Jefferson, et al. were the first and last US Government Patriots.

Time for change.

Red Breast is an orphan whiskey from Ireland. I highly recommend it!

Dale, I LOVE your imagery!!

8:16 AM  
Anonymous Roberta Kelly said...

Incidentally, I've been writing, faxing and emailing Rick Warren (the "godfather" evangelical of the Christian Right) for more than a year now about everything regarding global warming, peak oil, DU, and of course, I re-wrote the "Beatitudes" according to what Jesus did NOT say in his "Sermon on the Mount."

I first introduced myself as who I am, student of "religion," once upon a time.

I must admit, I like what they've done with the website that I posted above. At least it is something and the true crazies are going crazy against Rick because he is with the ENEMY (Al Gore), is what they are saying. The blogs are real fun at this time, with respect to the evangelicals who believe in Armageddon and those who believe in the Sermon on the Mount.

Have some fun and post on the websites about how Jesus did not give George W. Bush permission to kill countless numbers of people and the Bible says so.

8:32 AM  
Blogger Rory Shock said...

I think you are one of the true warriors on what rummy called the electronic battlefield ... no wonder they fear blogs ... hey you right wing wacko mofos FEAR LIBERAL GIRL!!!!!!

8:50 AM  
Anonymous Dale Hippert said...


Sounds like a movie premise to me! LGND logo...three
adjacent homes with LG
standing on middle door step, hands defiantly on hips. (Cape optional)

If they can make a movie about a writer (Capote) they sure as hell can make one about a blogging podcaster. We'll have to work on that description..almost sounds like something you'd say to someone while fliping them off!

Theme song: It's Hard Out There For A Right Wing Wacky MOFO. Gas for the HUMMER and taxes for Iraq been spent
Ya know the excuses ain't playin' to the rubes no mo,'s why it's hard for a Right Wing Wacky MOFO

Chorus :)


12:14 PM  
Blogger The Local Crank said...

There have been periodic attempts over the years to turn Christian Reconstructionism into its own political party, the US Taxpayers Party for one. If the GOP gets spanked hard in 2006 and loses the White House in 2008, you may see that trend revived, as the CR's argue that the Republic Party lost because it wasn't "righteous enough."
However, to say the CR's don't read their Bible is a gross misstatement; they do and they believe it. Or, more to the point, they believe the interpretation of it put out by Dobson, Robertson and the other tele-Pharisees. The GOP has never really been interested in the CR's as anything other than foot-soldiers/cannon fodder and a way to put a moralistic figleaf over a truly radical anti-Christian, anti-family economic policy.

11:22 PM  
Blogger Yellow Dog said...

Well if we are talking long-term, the best way to beat the repugs is to support the Libertarian Party. While Libertarians, in priciple, have views on civil liberties that are much like our own (which caused me to flirt with the idea for awhile), in my experience,they ae the party of big business. I think if corporations saw a real groundswell of support for the Libertarian, they would begin to throw some money in that direction. Most of the actual Libertarians i have spoken to are RINOs.

The other benefit of a strong Libertarian party is that it would not only allow, but it would almost require us to select more leftward leaning Democratic candidates to prevent us from losing the civil liberties vote. I still don't think the country would elect a Kucinich, but a Feingold would be a lock.

The Libertarian party is one of those things that is very appealing in theory, but a different animal in reality. Helen & Harry say it best, and I would suggest that if you read some Libertarian Forums you will come to the same conclusion.

6:12 AM  
Blogger The (liberal)Girl Next Door said...

A Rose Is A Rose--I'm with ya sister! I couldn't do it either, that's why I took the chicken’s way out and wrote this instead. I still haven't been able to write a good post about the abortion issue because I get too hoppin' mad!

Roberta--You're right, the crazies in the basement don't read the Bible, they read those awful "Left Behind" books and forget that it's fiction.

Rory--Yeah!! What you said!

Dale--I love a good cape so I opt for that.

Local Crank--Those Christian Reconstructionists are loony. I've read up on them over the years and I've tried to write an article, but every time delve into it, I get all creeped out.

Yellow Dog--I once heard someone describe Libertarians as Republicans who want to get laid. Sounds about right to me.

7:18 PM  
Blogger Yellow Dog said...

That may the funniest thing I've heard all week.

7:44 PM  

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