Thursday, April 27, 2006

The Rove Perp Walk

I’m starting to get a little giddy at the prospect of Karl Rove finally getting his just desserts. We won’t get to see him frog marched out of the White House, but we will get to see him get fired, or rather “resign to defend himself against these ridiculous charges that are nothing more than political mudslinging.” At this point, I don’t care how they spin it, as long as they start falling, one after another.

I get the sense that Karl The Roving Feral Pig, as my dad lovingly describes him, is a squealer at heart. I may be wrong, but I imagine him giving it all up when faced with the prospect of jail time, as the memories of being the pudgy picked on kid in school come flooding back and likely unhinge his jaw completely. This summer might turn out all right after all.

Jason Leopold over at Truth Out has been diligently covering the ins and outs of Patrick Fitzgerald’s investigation into the outing of Valerie Plame Wilson and the subsequent cover up by this administration. With news that ProsecutorMan has resumed his meetings with the grand jury on the case, Jason Leopold reveals that according to his sources, Rove received a target letter from Fitzgerald, an ominous sign that he is about to be indicted. Couldn’t happen to a nicer guy.

So what happens if Karl Rove is indicted and reluctantly booted out of the White House? It’s one more indictment against a Bush administration official, one that the public will notice. It will take Karl off of the mid-term elections that might result in a slight reduction in the number of dirty tricks that will be employed before November. It also means that Bush will be alone in many respects. Rove has held Bush’s hand through this difficult task of governing, a task that so clearly has him treading water in unfamiliar seas. Rove might be the only thing holding Cheney back from actually being the President. Now that’s a scary thought.

There’s still a chance that Rove can wiggle his way out of this one. Lawrence O’Donnell writes over at The Huffington Post that the buzz around Washington is that Rove asked to testify before the Grand Jury this week, which probably means he wanted one last chance to explain himself. He’s a pretty slippery guy, so who knows if it will work, but the best part of this whole thing is the makeup of the Grand Jury that will be deciding whether or not to indict. These are not his political peers sitting in judgment, but rather regular folks living in the other DC, you know, the neglected, poverty stricken, mostly African American DC. I’m not sure about this Grand Jury, but the last one was made up mostly of black women. Boy I hope this one is the same, if it is, Rove hasn’t got a chance. Not because they won’t be fair, but because in my experience, black women have the best bullshit detectors of all. Happy trails Rover, you lying turd!


Anonymous Dale Hippert said...


I'm getting that Karl is not welcome at the Martin household, even nicely roasted with an apple in
his mouth!

Rove IS the embodiment of the 'turd in the punch bowl'. They just put him in a different bowl in a different party room, for now!

The negative for Rove is that the grand jury is really it for him. White collar criminals do NOT want a public trial with a jury of their peers. Because it won't be. It will be pissed off poultry judging the fox. So he's making whatever deal he can to avoid that.

12:23 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

One more reason why Bush should be impeached. Old Baldy

2:29 PM  
Blogger Yellow Dog said...

A Wal-Mart bullshit detector would be good enough. It wouldn't have to be especially sensitive.

4:14 PM  
Anonymous Betty Cracker said...

Rove would make a tasty snack (pork rinds, anyone?) before the main course, and it couldn't happen to a nicer guy.

But I'll start cleansing my palate (with a crisp Chardonnay, perhaps), tucking in my napkin and sharpening my utensils for the real entree if Congress turns over this fall.

Dare to hope for it: Bush facing a Watergate-style independent investigation. Now wouldn't that be sweet? Dinner and dessert all rolled into one!

7:58 PM  
Anonymous geocrackr said...

EWWWW! Rove Rinds!

Excuse me, I have to go scrape my tongue.

9:40 PM  
Anonymous tony c. said...

It's probably going to be amusing for Rove to try to spin his way out of this. Anyone who has spent a lot of time in the courtroom knows that, if you're a witness it is very, very difficult to bullshit a reasonably competent trial attorney.

They don't ask questions they don't already know the answer to.

And Fitz isn't just "reasonably competent." From what I understand, he's very good at what he does.

My bet? Rove either squeals like a pig, or spins his way into perjury charges.

All this reminds me of a bad joke:

Two tigers are walking through the jungle. The tiger in back licks the ass of the tiger in front. Front Tiger turns around and asks, "Dude! What are you doing?" Tiger in the back says, "Sorry. Sorry." After a few minutes, the tiger in the back does it again--just licks the ass of the tiger in front. Front Tiger stops, turns around, and growls, "What the f**k?" The tiger in back apologizes profusely, "Sorry, sorry. I bit a Republican earlier, and I've been trying to get the taste out of my mouth ever since."

11:53 PM  
Blogger Howard Martin said...

I passed that story along, Tony. good one.

11:47 AM  
Blogger The (liberal)Girl Next Door said...

Dale--Sure, I'd invite old Karl in with open arms, I just won't say what I'd do once he was inside, but nicely roasted with an apple in his mouth is a good start.

Anonymous--That list is getting long.

Yellow Dog--Yes, I'm sure you're right.

Betty Cracker--Can I come over for that party?

GeoCrackr--I'm with ya.

Tony--Thanks for the laugh, that's a good one.

Howie--Yes, I'll be passing that one along too.

1:14 PM  

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