Monday, December 19, 2005

The Bright Side Of Fascism

I was thinking the other day about the myriad of signs that this administration is indeed trying to turn this country into a fascist dictatorship. Bush once said, “If this were a dictatorship, it'd be a heck of a lot easier, just so long as I'm the dictator.” Any thinking person that happened to catch this little bit of wisdom on live television surely felt a sudden chill up their spine. He was being jovial when he said it, but the truest lines are often the throwaway ones. If our dear President says he would prefer to be a dictator, we should believe him. And if we have learned one thing in the last five years, it is that Georgie Boy, more often than not, gets what he wants.

So, if what we have in store is a dictatorship with Bubble Boy at the helm, we might as well start looking at the bright side of fascism. The first thing that comes to mind is a thriving counterculture. Sure we will have to meet in darkened houses with the curtains drawn, but it will be exciting and we will have legitimate reasons for yelling at the children, “knock off the racket.” There will also be many great books written, although we will never get the chance to have our books signed at the local Barnes & Noble as the authors will most likely be executed upon publication of their work. But that will just make the books worth more since there will be limited copies available once they are confiscated and burned by the government.

There won’t be anything worth watching on television, since everything will be sanitized for our consumption, but this will conveniently provide more time to spend with our family and friends. Singing and dancing will once again become common faire in American households, as we shun the idiot box in favor of private gatherings amongst friends. Of course we will be attending more funerals since, let's face it, most of us are used to spouting off about politics in public places and that will be a hard habit to break.

Imagine all of the practical problems that will be solved. Most liberals have too many books, yet can’t seem to get rid of any of them. With extreme poverty a reality of everyday life for most of us, our duplicate copies of Lord of the Flies, Macbeth, Jane Eyre, not to mention all of the books we bought and read but would rather not showcase on our bookshelves, will provide ample kindling to keep us warm during the cold winter months. We can destroy the evidence of our guilty pleasures, purge our houses of unnecessary items and stay alive in the process. It’s a win, win situation.

Perhaps the greatest benefit to all of us lefties, once we embrace our new fascist future, is we will once again be useful and necessary. We will be able to contribute to the fight in concrete ways. We can provide “safe houses” for rebels as they travel around, spreading the news of the revolution. We can distribute leaflets and host meetings in our homes. There will be inherent danger in all that we do, lending our lives much needed drama and we will at long last have a productive outlet for our dissent. The lines will be clear and our action will be needed. It will no longer be possible to sit on the sidelines, waiting for things to happen, we will be instigators of change and we will have everything riding on our ability to commit to the cause. Admit it, it sounds like fun.

So let us embrace our fascist future, as it will lend necessary urgency to our humdrum lives. While we wait in limbo, feeling confused about what to do, rest assured that we may soon enough have the boot of a real dictator pressed firmly on our necks. Then we will finally find out what we are really made of. I, for one, can hardly wait.


Blogger Lone Ranger said...

This kind of paranoid rhetoric is the reason our Founding Fathers didn't want women in politics.

12:30 AM  
Anonymous roberta kelly said...

". . In his book of humor and observation, noted columnist James
Smart observes that the New York Public Library defines Kemo Sabe as
Soggy Shrub. His entertaining collection is appropriately titled
"Soggy Shrub Rides Again and other improbabilities."

Thus, lr, er I mean ss --

I suggest you look up the word "misogynist", in the dictionary.

Your mug shot is there looking like you are some kind of cowboy, all dressed up like a real clean cut bad/good guy and acting like a stupid white man.

Then, look up the word satire . . .

"irony is wasted on the stupid"; "Satire is a sort of glass, wherein beholders do generally discover everybody's face but their own"--Johathan Swift

Best of luck to you, riding around the wild west, dressed up ever so dashing, but not knowing what your true name means, "Soggy Shrub".

Its ok though because you can claim your fame, writing stupid stuff about our founding fathers as though your brain could comprehend what they thought about.

And of course, here is your comment about women, who you obviously see as valuable enough to be told "paranoid rhetoric" is why we cannot be trusted to be in politics.

Why you fucking moron.

7:47 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

No wonder he's the LONE ranger.

9:30 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What an obnoxious a-hole!

9:57 AM  
Anonymous Jonathan said...

Liberal Girl,

Do not despair over the words of the lone ranger. He is too old to make a difference in the fight to retain our liberties that is nigh. He is but a relic from an era that is in decline and is soon to come to a close. One day soon his views will be presented in museums as curiosities, nay oddities, from the past. The world is changing and our species is evolving and those who are genetically inferior and unable to keep up will be left behind in obscurity.

The lone ranger’s profile says that he works for an international news agency. I would bet a month’s salary that he is a journolobbiest. Getting paid to prostitute himself to disseminate the views of the plutocracy. His kind is being exposed. As more light is shined into their lairs the more rats that can be seen scurrying for the cover of darkness.

A truth teller, like yourself, can not hope to reach the minority that he is a part. For he bases his decisions of faith. Facts, data, and reasoned consideration be damned. As it stands now public support for Bush the Lessor’s regime has withered to less than 40%. The support will continue to erode and that decline may very well accelerate as the legitimate media becomes more disillusioned with the regime and more emboldened by the public reaction to the tyranny being exposed. When the liberals, independents, libertarians and the handful of conservatives capable of critical thought form their alliance public support for the dauphin prince will fall to the high teens or low 20s. If history is any guide an oppressive regime supported by only 1 in 5 of the citizenry will not stand long.

2:50 PM  
Blogger Giordano said...

Lotsa rights going fast.
In Sydney NSW the cops board buses, confiscate cell-phones, read all the txts. "Middle Eastern" appearance young men are prevented from going to the beach. (Its hot in Sydney in December). Apparently Anglos & Lebs were flashmobbing via sms.
At what point in a litany of rights vanishing does it get to be fascism? Maybe it requires night rallies with fancy uniforms, (blue shitrts, black gloves, white stetsons maybe?)

6:16 PM  

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