Sunday, February 12, 2006

One More Reason Not To Spend The Day With Dick Cheney

If he will shoot his friends in the face, the rest of us haven’t got a fighting chance. I keep trying to work out the statistical plausibility of the Bush administration and the numbers just don’t add up. Beyond the statistical impossibility of Bush/Cheney’s re-election, what are the chances that a President would almost die choking on a pretzel? Considering only 2,800 people a year die from choking on any object (most of them children) and there have been only 43 Presidents, I would say that the chances are pretty slim. And how likely is it that a Vice President will accidentally shoot you in the face? Well, there have been 46 Vice Presidents and there were only 30 hunting accidents in Texas last year so again the chances are about a zillion to .0000001.

I guess what we should take away from this is that Bush and Cheney are the luckiest sons of bitches to ever walk the earth and the rest of us couldn’t possibly be any unluckier. Although my husband says that the real lesson is, if you’re a lawyer, don’t sneak up on Dick Cheney. Solid advice for sure.

9 Comments:

Anonymous Dale Hippert said...

"Harry, go f**k yourself! Next time give us a heads up when you're in a possible line of fire!"

Well, at least they weren't blasting stumps on Cheney's ranch. Harry might a got
blowed up real good, real good! DH

"The vice president didn't see him," she continued. "The covey flushed and the vice president picked out a bird and was following it and shot. And by god, Harry was in the line of fire and got peppered pretty good."

8:58 PM  
Blogger The (liberal)Girl Next Door said...

That is so funny Dale, my husband's first reaction was the "go fuck yourself" quote as well. Great minds and all that.

9:00 PM  
Blogger Lily said...

Quails, friends...how can you tell the difference????

Came over to check out your blog, and say hello.

6:32 AM  
Blogger a rose is a rose said...

ok ms (liberal) grrrl next door, are you a closet actuary?

8:34 AM  
Blogger The (liberal)Girl Next Door said...

Lily--love your blog, will be adding Lose The Noose to my blogroll.

Rose--No, but I play one on my blog. I can't help it, my mind automatically goes to the logical and this bizzaro world in which we now live disturbs my sensibilities.

8:42 AM  
Blogger Puma said...

Hey from one liberal girl to another, along with Lily have just now stumbled upon your blog. Nice work :)

9:01 AM  
Anonymous Jonathan said...

When this occurred the Sheriff only found out because they heard about the call for an ambulance for a shooting victim. When a Deputy meandered over to the range to question the shooter he was stopped by the Secret Service from interviewing Cheney. The nation was not made aware that our VP had shot anyone until nearly 24 hours after the fact.

I smell a rat!! Most states require not only for the peace authorities to question the shooter in an accidental shooting but also to get a drug test performed. I’d bet 10 bucks to a doughnut that he was hammered after a long day of shots and beer chasers?

4:30 PM  
Blogger The (liberal)Girl Next Door said...

Puma--Thanks and back at ya!

Jonathan--I'm sure you won't get many takers on that bet. Too bad, cause you could get rich with that one.

6:00 PM  
Blogger Neil Shakespeare said...

What a gift from the God of the Absurd, huh?

8:41 PM  

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